Be A Force

Written by Karen

Yosemite, California

I took another step towards getting me back today.  You can’t see it in my picture (since I’m still incognito posing as a bunch of daisies!), but I have put on about 40 pounds in the past six years.  I haven’t been ok with this – of course – but I just couldn’t shake the excuse that this was just one of the many consequences of working in the Silicon Valley.


 I’ve had fits and starts, where I got into the routine of working out during lunch and watching what I ate.  And then, bam…another round of high stress, long hours, and grab-and-go lunches at work sent me back to the beginning again.  For the past year, once we decided that we were going to get off this crazy roller coaster ride for awhile, I thought that I’d just wait it out until next March before I got serious about getting healthy. 

And then today happened.  I don’t really know why the switch was flipped.  Usually, when I think of dieting, being healthy and working out, I cringe.  Am I going to let myself down again?  Loser.  And I have this back-and-forth conversation with myself.  Yes, you can.  No, not really.  I have to work late again this week.  I’m too tired.  Yes, you can.  I’d like to, but it’s getting darker earlier.  The traffic is getting worse.  I just want to crash on the couch at home, have a glass of wine and watch Anthony Bourdain or House Hunters International.  

You get the picture.  But today, the thought popped into my head, “I should go sign up again at the gym down the street.” The silence was deafening.  There was no retort; there was no back-and-forth.  It just was a statement that stood alone and was accepted.  

So, during lunch, I went down to the gym and all of the regulars were still there.  Bill, the owner, came out with a big grin and gave me a big hug, and said, “Care (he always called me Care – he’s the only one who ever has.) where the hell have you been?”  

While he was signing me back up for a six month tour, we got to talking about life in the Silicon Valley.  “It’ll chew you up and spit you out, if you’re not careful, Care,” he said, “I’ve seen it happen too many times. You gotta’ take care of yourself first.  And that means, getting your ass back in here!” He was always quite the motivational speaker!  And, I said so.  

San Francisco, Califoria

He said, “Seriously, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.  Everyone who knows you suffers when you don’t take care of you first.”  I stopped and considered that.  I had heard this before, but today I was listening.  “Be a force, Care,” he said, with no smile on his face.  “Good things happen when you are a force.  You can’t be a force until you are taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself will bring you positive changes.”  

I told him I would be in on Friday during lunch.  He said that he would be on the lookout for me.  I believe him.  I’m gonna’ be a force.